TIme in Ipoh

Traveled back from Ipoh today. Was feeling mix emotions as the bus leave and approaches Ipoh toll... I don't feel like leaving...but yet excited to the things ahead back in KL. I don't feel like leaving home as I was waiting for the taxi to take me to the bus station and yet I miss my bed in KL. I miss the time spend with Papa, Mummy, Sarah,San,Mon yee & Simmy...I miss the best "tau foo fah" and "tau ching" which I will not miss out every time I go back.

I remember as I arrived on Monday night, I felt "strange" and not use to my own home....I have not been back for about 2 months.. Mummy cooked my favorite meal on that day...prawn sambal and chicken soup...it was so good & i feel "um kau hau"...it was such a long time since I last tasted home cook food.

Watched "Heart of Greed" with family on Tuesday night...That was my 3rd time watching it..I was watching just for the sake of the time with my family..sitting together, talking, watching movie, laughing... Papa and mummy went up to sleep earlier... left Sarah, Emily and myself...

Sarah suddenly burst out in tears....my heart ached see her like this...I wanted to hug her tight..to hold her close and to tell her that I love her. I place my hand around her shoulder and help her to wipe away her tears but she pushed my hand away. I was there sitting beside her, with my hand still on her shoulder, looking at her and asking her to share out whats troubling her and encouraged her to talk out...but she only reply "nothing"..."Nothing.."

As I continue looking at her, my heart really feel the pain and a deep compassion for her. I wanted to help her, to go through whatever she is going through together with her...if only she open up and allow me to do so....I had the urge to cry together with her and my heart was having this weird emotions that I could not express in words....as I sit there and watch her. In my heart, I was praying, praying that God will help her through, praying that God will heal her and restore her joy again... I wish that time that I can take over her place and face all the difficult times and pain that she is going through. I wish I can take over her suffering so that she can be happy and joyful. I remembered when she was a child, she used to laugh a lot and make all of us laugh. She was a joyful kid and a very sweet and adorable child...

"Sarah,I love you. Yes many times I feel frustrated with you and I really do not understand you but I love you. You will always be my best and only sister and nothing will change that. I wish you will be happy always and grow up to be a wonderful young lady."

"Lord, please teach me to be a good sister to her. Help me to remain patient to her and teach me what to do and what can I do Lord to help her... "