Reflection & Insight...

Watched "Click" during cell jus now..not my first time though but somehow it portray a different meaning to me this time. As I watched how the guy click away parts of his life that is unpleasant until he miss out so many from his life.... It all just concluded one thing...

Life is like a puzzle..every pieces of the puzzle when place together, make the whole picture of life complete..losing a piece of it means the picture is now incomplete.


Every piece of puzzle carries different meaning, different circumstances in life (up or down) and different experiences in life (pleasant or unpleasant), when place together, it make life complete.

Every single circumstances, every single situation and every single experience that we face in this journey of our life...makes us a better person, makes us stronger, makes us appreciate things and people around us more...In other word, it is all necessary to help us grow as a person.

Situation may seems difficult and almost impossible to face or deal with when we are in it...but when it is all over, when we turn back and look at it, we will smile and thankful for the difficult times for it teaches us new values, new skills, give us new strength and make us a better and tougher person...all this is part and parcel of life...

A journey of molding...just like a clay being molded into a flower vessel ...but before that, it need to go through the fire furnace and endure high degree of burning, only then it will turn into a beautiful vessel. Just like us, the process of molding, the process of refining through burning, no doubt is a painful and difficult process....but the outcome of it..... when we endure it.... we will be refine, beautified and strong...

Therefore....no situation or parts of our life should be "click" or fast forward... endure the pain and appreciate every lessons in life...Like a video game, once we pass the current stage trials, we move on to the next level and faces new challenges there and move on until the game is completed.

You deserve the glory...

During the morning worship on Sunday morning in JW Marriott, was so blessed and move by this worship song. This song, though the lyrics are so simple and straight forward, I find it powerful and meaningful...Just wanna share it here.

You deserve the glory
And the honour
Lord, we lift our hands in worship
As we lift Your Holy name

For you are great
You do miracles so great
There is no one else like You
There is no one else like You...

OM Partnership Event...

The last weekend left an impact in my life and heart...no doubt it was a tiring time..but it's really worth it. Besides witnessing how God provide, this event stir my heart and impacted and touch me as well. We targeted about RM1 million to be collected in this weekend..but God plan was far greater than what we expected. We managed to raise RM.10.7 million just in the weekend. Praise God for His work and blessing! And also I am touch to see how generous and giving Dato Francis Yeoh was to us, besides sponsoring our stay and meals there, he donated a huge amount to us, for ship to operate.

This event is actually a fund raising program for the ship Logos hope that is currently in Kobe, Germany..waiting for the work of renovation to be completed before it can sail. (check out more info about the ship and its ministry @ www.omships.org)

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I really want to give credits to the hotel staff..their are so efficient, efficient & wonderful! I really felt so pampered throughout my stay there and not to mention the wonderful sauna, steam bath & hot tub jacuzzi in the spa room.

Being there, working together with the gold team ( all that have been or currently still with the ship ministry) makes me feel as if I am back in Doulos, working. We do not know each other before but it only took us a while, really short time to bind and to relate to each other as if we have known each other for long time. Its all because we feel that we are all part of the family..

As we were checking the grand ballroom before the gala dinner, the sound crew was checking the sound system and they run the Doulos History maker movie clip..As I hear the familiar sound, I stop in track and cant help watching it as I feel the wave of emotions sweep over me..My eyes became teary as I stood there and watch the familiar people, parts of the ship..the place that is close to my heart and the place I call home.. I thought it was only me being emo..but I realize those that been on Doulos and now finished their commitment on Doulos, felt the same way as I do..

During the worship time in the morning, even though it was simple, I felt blessed and again my eyes grew teary..It was wonderful! I really miss Doulos worship. We had Sunday service in the hotel and holy communion.

I realize I enjoy meeting with ppl and communicating, doing PR job and sharing with them my life and experiences on Doulos. Again, it was so similar with the time I was on board, working in book exhibition..meeting thousands of people a day in most port..

Sunday..everything was over. Feeling a little emo leaving the place and saying farewell to the team...Went to Piramid for fellowship with ex Douloid's fren. We had a good time of chatting..and again..most of our conversation were related to the ship..a bind that no one will understand unless they been there. A conversation that others might not be able to relate to unless they was there before...DOULOS.... and all of you wonderful people that I met on board..you all will always remain close to my heart!

My comfy bed

What am I trying to do :D

I love the bathroom soooo much...

Worship time

Holy Communion

F&B Manager, that lead an amazing team

Event stage

The Gold Team members

What are we doing???

Joann & Austin - George assistant

Finally I can rest my feet after hours on heels


Billy & Helan Tan - awesome couple

Aus, Joe, Veron, David

George Verwer (OM founder), Juwita & me
p/s : he may look old here, but you should have seen him dancing all out on stage with Juwita during the gala dinner. All of us were stunt and had a good laugh!

A great man- pastor from SIB KK

Lissane, Ming Hua, Joe, D way & David @ Piramid

View from my room

"cabin mate" Grace, Huey & Joe

Can I not leave this place...

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Preview of few of the many food that we had :)

My time in Marriott...

As I stepped into the hotel..immediately I was pampered by ppl opening the car door and carrying my luggage into my room after I got my room card..the room is good and from the big panel window, I can see pavilion and KLCC view..

Went down for briefing immediately after I scan the room. Met with my few ship fren...had wonderful meal ...feast meant for king....

It is really wonderful to work together with people that are and were part of the ship family...being with them, talking about the ship makes me feel home. It makes me miss DOULOS and my life there and the people there so much... As we talked and chat...Especially when we hit the table and sing the DOULOS style of bday song....I feel as if I am back to the ship...working together once again.. The image of the ship...where my home used to be...was so vivid in my mind..feel like running to it...touching it again...and walking along the main street....down to cabin 211 where I used to stay..working in book ex..meeting thousands of people a day..walking and exploring the new countries...DOULOS..indeed was a place where I learn a lot, grow, cry, laugh, got my first sea sick encounter, traveling, meeting so many people from all over the world...all with one vision...one heart...one purpose and moving in one direction....in bringing knowlege, help and hope to the world...

Those out there....if you have the chance...don't miss it..go experience it for yourself and you definitely won't regret it! It's worth every single moment and sweat and hard work there!

The Beautiful Doulos

My last voyage.. Japan To Korea

Farewell my home..

BOILING REACHED 120C....

Gosh this guy....really need a kick or a slap on the mouth from me! tat's what I wanted to do so badly jus now...talk big and talk a lot but do nothing...God pls help me here.

Wanted to talk and settle bout the things that he said to me yesterday...meeting suppose to be at 2 but waited and waited for him till 2.30...then wen i wanted to address the issue and to be frank wif him that i "um song" his mail...

his respond was ------> "I dont want to talk bout it.. I also very "um song" i dun wan talk, just assume nothing happen."

I was like..what the.... so I told him...we need to talk and settle and clear things in order to continue working together. cannot just assume nothing happen after all the words and things that you said to me and bout me.

His respond...making me angrier...."then its your problem la if you cannot assume nothing happen. your prob for not being able to control yourself not my problem... "( can i slap his mouth & chop of his tongue??!!)

And i told him..eh look here, of cos u easy can say assume nothing happen cos you are the one that say ppl not the one that hearing ppl talk bout you...and you need to be responsible wif your words and not jus simple say wat ever u like and then assume nothing happen...

From beginning he dun wan to listen and cut in half way wen oth ppl talking... only want talk but not listening..talking crap...

He complain that selling 150 units is too much and impossible (not yet even start, complain liao).. and say this is only a project...no need to be so serious about it bla bla bla...

So i told him since he complain so much now, then fine...the group jus sell 100 unit..additional 50 unit i sell personally and i take the profit la. Jus to settle this issue and carry on with the work...

His respond was...." you think you do like tat very "wai tai" ah" .. i wont stop you if you want do lik tat...

Argh...can I really punch, kick,slap and chop him?? who he think he is man...not even doing anything and not even the group leader ( i am the leader)...talking lik tat to me...wen all things i am the one that plan, find, buy & prepare...all that is left to do now is only sell....

I really feel not nice working with him..so difficult working with these type of ppl that only accept to pass and not score and only want to simply get it over with....

Few options that I am considering:
1. Give him one more chance...next meeting, once everything is agreed on, NO MORE COMPLAINS, TALK MUCH, GIVING MANY DIFFERENT OPINIONS AND END UP NOTHING CAN BE DONE....If not, give him the option to comply to the group or to leave the group.

2.Continue like this, bring this issue up to lecturer...

3.Leave the group & sell on my own. Let them plan their own sales and ideas..

What do you all think is the best option or any other suggestion or guide??

Really spoil my mood the whole afternoon n evening...was feeling so not nice and feel like bursting and kicking him out from the group.

BLOOD BOILING HOT!

Feeling so frustrated and angry and irritated now! I realize I really need to work on conflict resolution especially when working in team. I realize when things happen, my first respond is really feeling angry and "um song" instead of calmly looking at the matter and settle it. Maybe my mood is not so good today, that's why easily get angry.

It's my group project problem. For business project, we (group of 4) are selling chocolate gift packages. In the beginning, it was decided to sell choco cos I was at Langkawi few weeks back and I could get chocolate back there at a lower cost. I was thinking of the packaging and manage to get nice package at a very good bargain from wholesale.

My first mistake: went to buy and look for it by myself. (It was a hard work, walking around petaling street in the afternoon, when the sun is at the peak, going into one shop to another to get the packaging and in getting the best bargain at lowest cost). I thought that do not need to be so "ma fan" and required all member to be present to buy since I am near there (came back from Ipoh) for they are quite busy with other things.

Second mistake: I thought since all the choco is at my house, and it is really heavy and a lot to carry it around (enough to have to carry from Langkawi back here, from air port to KL Sentral and back home) & since it is difficult to gather everyone to be present and pack the choco at my house, I volunteer to do it by my self since it's more convenient and I do not mind doing it.

Therefore, all that is required and left to be done by the group is get the poster printed and sticking it around Uni and then set booth and sell together and then work on the report together.
A small problem arise today when I called the dealer for the gift packaging for the remainder 50 unit that I have requested. I was informed that the stock has not arrived and it might only reach by early next month.

I can easily go over the shops to get it or find another substitute for the 50 but I thought it will be better this time to go as a group to get it so that everyone will have contribution and it will also be easier to decide on the substitute if the one that we wanted really not available. So, i mail every member regarding this and asked to go together to settle this matter.

Guess what respond that I get from one of the member?

"Need not to get the remaining 50 gift package since its troublesome and its only a project, just do it simple" (talking about troublesome...did I ever complain when I buy all those stocks and look around for the best deal and pack everything? Now just thought that the whole group can go once to get it, he complain its troublesome???)

"Accuse of not clear of the what choco that I but and bout the price" (As if I am cheating when in class last week, I did explain the cost and show the calculation to the group - not my problem when he is the one that was absent from class and not clear about that matter)

And other things that he mention la...not in the mood to write and elaborate so long about it.
I am so angry and feels so "um song" when I read his mail...

I really need to calm down....not to let anger over power me... I am learning and trying to calm down..put all my "um songness" aside and to understand him from his point of view and from his thinking so that there will be no hard feelings and we can continue to work as a team.

2mrw..going to have a group meeting before the sales...I really want a smooth and calm meeting 2mrw as this issue be address.

Breath in..... breath out....breath in..... breath out..... (repeat)

Another thing done....

Weeks of anxiety and nervousness...finally over yesterday. Reached the studio few minutes before my scheduled time..So good to be on time :) As I entered into the photo shooting studio..it was totally different from my previous experiences...it was like what we watch in movie..white walls, mirror one one side with make up artist and one hair stylist...all those equipments for photo taking, clothing hanging on one side, lighting...back ground music.those music that is usually play when models walk out to the runway...

I was feeling so nervous...I hardly have time to settle down..as I entered, I was ushered to the make up artist to have my face painted and then had my hair done by the hair stylist...

Make up aunty: Can I trim your eye brow? U Malay?
Joann: No prob..nope.
Make up aunty: Mix?
Joann: Yes
Make up aunty: Oh, mix with what?
Joann: Chinese, English, Indian
Make up aunty: Then you can speak Chinese la
Joann: Nod ( aiyo..how many times do I have to go through this every time I meet people)
Make up aunty: (while painting my face with foundation) You got very beautiful features.
Joann: (smile....hehe....blush...)

The waiting time make me feeling more nervous... As I watched the first girl being photo shoot... gosh..I feel more nervous and stress..It seems to be so difficult...the photographer do not really teach us...but expect us to know how to pose and to pose our own style...STRESS!!! SWEAT! Dah la the air con so cold...SHIVER..

My turn next....gosh...I stand in front of the camera with the big panel yellow light on my face..I was like...er what to do ah...."

Cam man: Joann, R U ready??
Joann: (Stood there kaku and look @ the cam) Yes
Cam man: (Looked at me from behind the cam) Huh, you ready d ah like tis? Come on, do better than that.
Joann: Er, ok...(shifting leg and body posture)
Cam man: Smile more, come on show me your teeth. Dun smile so forceful..smile smile...
Joann: (Trying so hard to smile with teeth - I hate that)
Cam man: (Walk towards me) Ok, see, you have to smile, and show you are confident, to make the picture more appealing. I will do my best but you need to work hard as well. You have come this far, don't waste this chance, ok?
Joann: (nod, nod) ok

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Cam man: Much better d, much better! That's a good shot..more...
Try a giggle shot...come on...like this, be more "gigglish", shoulder up...
Joann: (huh..how to do that???) blur..
Cam man: Ok, I will use the blower to blow your hair from here so that your jaw line will be more enhance and visible...
Make up aunty: (touch up makeup)
"aunty" 2: (adjust the necklace & my top & pin behind to make it more fitting)
Cam man: Ok, look at your picture on the comp screen, you are doing much better already, the last few shots already good...ready?

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(Change cloths)

Cam man: (stand beside me) You got a pretty face and nice smile, your photo already good but can be more... move your body forward, play with body language, show more of your neck. (demo)
Joann: (Move, pose, smile)
Cam man: Ok, you are done...

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After I have warm up, I actually enjoying every moment of it...It is fun :)

All that is left now is to wait for result.....

One thing done...

The event finally over..weeks of planning and hours of practices just end in less than 2 hours. Things were a little delay...missed today's quiz..Thanks to all for making this event work and success..thanks for your time and afford. I actually cried in the drama...but so sad....from a far my tears were not that visible..aiya..should have cry more and more dramatic..haha...

One thing finally over with, photo shooting on Sun is next, Uni projects and assignments.....more & more....And OM dinner on coming Thurs till Sun....

Didn't manage to take many pictures jus now...

Dance mime

So nervous....

In church right now... we having our practice for tomorrow out reach event.. I am in the drama mime, playing the role of a girl that constantly facing rejection and hurt in her life, and finally feel so defeated with all the circumstances around her and attempted suicide when her boy friend, the only friend and love that she has in her life, left her for another girl... but just as she wanted to take those pills...she remember..there is hope...there is more than this in life...there is a friend that is ever faithful and loving... and there is where she broke down and cry...and music (the song pray-from my previous post) plays in the background...the girl will then kneel down and cry and cry as the music continues to play....

and dance mime...A dance mime with the song "No Scarifies"

What's make me nervous is I am playing drum for one of the opening worship song..Gosh..I am really so nervous, such a long time since I ever play..my right hand muscles feel weird right now after the few practices...I am so nervous...so "karat" after such a long time...I want to play well tomorrow...I want to be good and perfect!

Everything is so rush... tomorrow is already the event... I need to be here earlier to set up and final practice...and rush off to class after that.. I have class from 3 to 6pm and the event will only start at 1.30pm..hope everything will be on time.

This is really a crazy and busy week for me... with the business proposal for my business class and starting to sell those chocolates and promotions...

Beautiful song

I was going through my friend's blog & came across this beautiful song..this song really reflects my post earlier..

祷告

祷告

Pray

因为我渺小

For I am minute

祷告

Pray

因为我知道我需要

For I know I need To know

明瞭

Understanding

你心意对我重要

That Your desire matters more to me

祷告

Pray

已假装不了

I can't pretend no more

祷告

Pray

因为你的爱我需要

For it is Your love that I need

你关怀

Your care

我走过的你都明白

Every path I've been, You've been there before

有些事我只想要对你说

Some things I can only tell you

因你比任何人都爱我

For you love me more than anyone else

痛苦从眼中流下

Tears of pain flow from my eyes

我知道你为我擦

I know You will wipe them for me

在早晨我也要来对你说

In the morning I will want to tell You

主耶稣今天我为你活

Lord Jesus, I will live for you today

所需要的力量你天天赐给我

The strength that I need, You grant me daily

你恩典够我用

Your grace is more than enough for me

**Thanks Nana for sending me the song & for helping me out..hugs..mmuacks!**

Love...forgiveness....

Just finished YA cell group, we watched the documentary on Jim Elliot life as a missionary.. The group of 5 missionaries went into the Amazon jungle in search for Waodani, a very fierce tribe of warriors. All were killed by the tribe leaving behind their children and wives.

If we are one of the child or the wive, knowing that these people killed your husband or father, what would our respond be towards this tribe?

hatred, anger, bitterness??
revenge & wish them dead?
curse them and pray the worst for them?
love & forgive them?
bless & help them?

The wives and children actually went back to the tribe in the jungle, staying with them and provide them medication and vaccination, in other word, caring and loving them.

The ending of the documentary, when the son hear the confession of the father's killer, yes, he is hurt, sad, angry and many other emotions..imagine loosing your father at young age, missing those love and moments that you should have with your father, simply because someone else took his life merciless and now...the murderer is right there in front of you, offering his life in return..which is easier? to take up the spear and kill the man or to tell the man, i forgive you??

Tears flows down my face when the son told the father's killer, "You did not kill my father, but he choose to give his life for your people."

If it's not for the love of God, the grace & mercy of God, the strength of God...it is almost impossible and inhuman to be able to forgive the person that has taken away our love one and cause us such misery and pain.. it is almost impossible to sacrifices our comfort in our lovely home to live in jungle that do not have all the necessities just to help the tribe that has killed your love one...

It is all because of LOVE....and we can LOVE because GOD FIRST LOVE US...

It really touch my heart when I watch this movie... and it really moves me...it's not easy to forgive those that cause pain and hurt to us..but it's not impossible... it makes me realize that it is a decision that we make...whether we want to forgive or to hold it against the people that cause us misery...

Forgiveness, reflects genuine love that will change the other person and set our own heart free, giving us freedom and joy...

Unforgiveness, will only birth to bitterness, hatred, anger, hurt...slavery and bondage of a heart of misery & pain...

Langkawi trip...

Back to work..studies…reality & life! How I wish the holiday will not end...it was relaxing and fun even though it rains everyday. The first thing that I did as I enter my room was CHECK OUT THE BATHROOM..and it was wonderful! I really enjoy my shower in the so much :)


I arrived there Tues afternoon... we rented a car but spend the day resting and surveying the town as it was raining..On wed, it rain in the morning but stop in the afternoon..thank God for the good weather! We went to the cable car..the view and surrounding was really BREATH TAKING! It was so BEAUTIFUL! After that, we went to the beach near Berjaya Resort and again… only one word to describe it… BEAUTIFUL!

Langkawi cable car

Berjaya Resort pool

I wanna reach the sky...

Beautiful sun ray...

The next day we went Island Hopping... the trip by the speed boat was FUN and TRILLING. As it just rain, the sea was quite choppy...so it was like sitting on a roller coaster in the middle of the sea..we bounce up and down as the giant waves hit out tiny boat..I find myself enjoying the trill as compared to boring "normal" ride :)




The next stop was Singa Besar Island where we "feed the eagle" and we travel to Pregnant Maiden Lake. At the end of the trip...I was really exhausted but it’s worth it. Went back to the hotel and spend bout an hour in sauna and steam bath before shower and dinner.

Singa Besar Island ( Eagle feeding)

Pregnant Maiden Lake

This stairs...are "killer" when you feel tired

Overall.....I love the islands and the beautiful beaches and mountains..

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Received a call in the afternoon while I was at One stop duty free chocolate shop.... I was informed that I was short listed as one of the finalist. My photo shooting session will be on 14 Sept..coming Sunday.. having mix emotions. Of course I am happy, excited but the same time I feel nervous and having second thoughts. As I checked the mail for details... the more nervous I feel... it's only 9 days from today....hope I feel more confident as the days approaches..