Til death do us part...

Specially for the one.. whom I will share the rest of my life with...

Its just 9 months and 6 days to go before the day...
January 22, 2011...

From the first moment I set my eyes on you,
There is something about you that capture my heart,
As time goes by, love blossoms..
Your love has lead me through
And won my heart..

At the moment,
I knew deep down in my heart,
You are the one God has for me..

The path that we've walked through,
The journey that we've tread through together,
Worth more than all the riches of the world..

From this moment,
Our life are no longer two but one,
The road ahead is not easy,
But I'll walk with you,
Hands in hands, with one heart, one love...
We will go through those winding roads...

Till death do us part,
In times of goodness and sickness...
I will be there for you...

Tiada kata dapat ku lafazkan,
Tuk menyatakan cintaku padamu,
Seperti bintang di langit,
Hadirmu menyinari hidupku..

Ku yakini kesetianmu,
Ku jua berjanji setia selamanya,
Hanya kau satu,
Yang terpahat di hati ini..

Walau apa pun terjadi,
Cintaku padamu kan abadi...
Bersama kita menerokai,
Hidup yang akan kita bina bersama..

Bingkisan hati ini hanya untukmu....
Sayangku...





Composed By,
Joann Toh
16 April 2010
5.04pm

We love because God first love...

Complicated Simple Matter....

Haiz... how come such simple matter can turn out to be complicated... Learning human behavior is indeed a life time learning.. needs lotsa patience too... Neway, hope things will be settled and lay transparent soon and with good ending...

Joann Toh
4 April 10
10pm

Above all....

Easter celebration few hours back got me wondering and thinking...
During the drama, where they had 'Ah Bak' tied to the cross & push around..
Others was laughing .. cos it was a funny drama ...
But I just couldn't laugh .. I felt tears were forming at the corners of my eyes..
I could feel my throat tighten n painful...
My heart aches...

I couldn't bring myself to see when they acting the part of nailing him to the cross...
I looked away..
I knew if I look, I wouldn't be able to refrain my tears & I wouldn't be able to hold back my emotions..
I do not want to be 'special' crying away while others were laughing..
In my heart... there is no words good enough that I could use to express how I felt..
I could only say... 'THANK U GOD... THANK FOR U FOR DYING FOR ME... THANK U....'

When Peter denied God 3 times...
It keep me thinking..
'HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DENY GOD IN MY LIFE?'
Many times... yes we may go to church every week or serving in the church... regular to cell...
But in our daily life... when there is decision to make...
Changes to make...
Lifestyles... Thoughts....Speech...
How many times we have deny God with our actions, speech & thoughts?

I admit I myself fail this many times..
Knowing the things that I need to do...
And yet I did not do..
Knowing the things I can't do..
But I did ....

Its so easy to sing during worship
'Lord I give u my heart.. I give you my soul...I live for you alone..
Every breath that I take, Every moment I'm awake.. Lord have your way in me.....'

But when it come to reality...
when God asked to stop the relationship with a certain person many years back..
Can I do it??
Many times.. when come to making decision & the need to let go of something..
Many times I realize, that will be the time where I deny God ...
Where I choose to turn a deaf ear...

Thank you God for being so patient with me all these years...
Thank you for not giving up on me...

THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL....

Never had I ever imagine that I am so blessed to be able to know THE ONE...
THE ONE tat love unconditionally...
THE ONE tat love me jus as I am...
What have I done to deserve love like this?

On the night many years back...
U were alone... the most lonely, fearful and psychologically tormenting moment of your whole life..
You were fighting with your own emotions.. part of you willing to go through an yet another part of the human you feeling the fear...
But in the end, you laid aside the agonizing feeling that is erupting inside you..

All for me ...

The time came... you were taken away..
You were accused... You were tortured...
You were mocked... You were beaten...
You were kicked... You were spit on...
Your flesh was torn apart...You was in great pain and bleeding..

And yet, you endure all those JUST FOR ME...
You could have just walked away.. let me carry my own guilt & shame...
But above everything else.. You thought of me...
And you went through all that for me
Simply because YOU LOVE ME...

How great is Your love upon me...
And Your love has won my heart...

You laid aside Your Majesty
Gave up everything for me
Suffered at the hands
Of those You had created

You took all my guilt and shame
When you died and rose again
Now today You reign
And heaven & earth exalted

I really want to worship You My Lord
You have won my heart and I am Yours
Forever and ever
I will love You

You are the only who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I life my voice to You
In adoration...

2 April, Friday
7.24pm

Good Bye DOULOS... 29 Dec 2009

So many to write ... but really not in the mood right now....
Just a brief summary ...

Was on DOULOS one final time.... those final time on board was really special...
DOULOS officially decommission on the 27 December 2009...
Thats the end of the 95 years old vessel ... the end of her ministry...

Suppose to upload many pictures and videos of the final moment on DOULOS...

Sadly...
on the 26th ... my hand bag was stolen during church member wedding at a hall in Johor..

Found my hand bag in the male washroom...

My camera...my cell phone..my cash was gone...

THat guy also took my Identification card n driving license but not interested in my VISA and other cards...

WHO EVER U ARE... I FORGIVE U... IF ONLY SOMEHOW U SEE THIS POST... PLEASE RETURN ALL MY PHOTOS FROM MY CAMERA AND CELL PHONE..MY IC AND LICENSE... U CAN HAVE THE MONEY, CELL PHONE AND CAMERA...

I pray that God will convict his heart....

Still I am thankful that

I still have my bag and purse and those cards...

I am also thankful for the chance to be serving onboard for one final time...

I am thankful for my last voyage....

Thank you God.... in all circumstances.. I know you are still in control...

**** more to come soon..thats all for now ****

7 Nov 2009 - Azney's wedding

Zanmai Sushi @ Gardens, 2 weeks before her wedding..had a brief meet up after such long time..

Went bac to Ipoh for a day trip to attend secondary school fren's wedding...
Feeling so tired right now, reached KL bout nearly 9m..
Was so hot in the afternoon & yet so heavy rain not long after that...

***************************

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU AZNEY....

5 Nov 2009 - Dry dock extended

Just got the news that dry dock (@ S'pore) time was extended... was suppose to sail from Singapore to Phuket coming 16 Nov... Was kinda disappointed cause was really looking forward to Phuket. Hope the next port will still be Phuket after dry dock... If not it will be straight to Middle East... I wanna be in Phuket ... sob sob sob

5 Nov 2009 - Cloudy meat balls...

DOULOS location: Singapore - Dry Dock till 16 Nov 2009

Just came back from Mid Valley at bout nearly 2am.. Watched cloudy meatball...

Bought ticket for 0012 show...
Entered the cinema bout 0000....
No one else was in there...
I was so excited...hehe...
Was literally walking up & down as if the whole cinema was booked by me...
Sitting on chairs every level, trying to find the best place with the best hight and best view...
0005....0010....Still no one walked in...

Was so happy & praying out loud...
'GOD PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE WATCH THIS SHOW...PLEASE... I WANT THE WHOLE CINEMA FOR OURSELVES' ( my Ling & me)

more excited...0015..still no one walked in...
YES!!YES!!MY WISH COME TRUE...
I CAN HAVE THE WHOLE CINEMA FOR MYSELF ...

0016....kacau only...
:( one couple walked in...
I was like... *&^%$##^&#@!

then 0018... another couple walked in.... %%^^%%$#$#!

then 0025...5 people walked in.... ##$@@$$^^&&!!!!!!
0030...3 more **&&%%$$######!

In the end: 14 people was there...

Bought the cloudy meatball limited edition umbrella...
Posed with it just now...(wanted to upload it here, but lazy right now)
Maybe something was inside the coke & M&M...

Super active after the movie...
Was walking and playing around with the umbrella.. poking Ling buttock from behind...
Waving it & 'kung fu'ing with it (ala Bruce Lee's style)
Wonder what those guards was thinking if they saw me through CCTV..
Haha never mind...since its 0130.... they must be bored & needed entertainment :P

So many to write...

Was back to Ipoh the past week...
In Penang for short while..
Back to KL on 30 Oct...

More bout it next post.... already 0420...
Tired but hyped up....


Going to say goodnite to my dearest Bit & Mit....


Going to read the book I just bought at Borders, Garden...

21 Oct 2009 - MIA

Will be MIA for at least a week....
Its a bright sunny day..last night was cold and freezing...
Had to put on socks and mummified self before sleep...
Missing Bit Bit & Mit Mit..
They've grown so much...

Waiting for answer about my inquiry to be send to Cambodia to work for OM Cambodia with the abuse/ street children...Guess ship life is over for me for now...

20 Oct 2009 - I am truly, sincerly sorry...

I am so sorry for hurting you again..
I regret every single moment of it...
The pain in my heart is so intense..
Cos I know I have hurt you again..
I have fail you again..
I nail you again on the cross..

I am so sorry for my wrongs...
Please forgive me...